February Art Giveaway 2015

Boy, life doesn't hesitate to call you out...

Earlier this year... I announced a project...

I honestly didn't know if anyone would even be interested...but January was AWESOME.

Just because you had a poopy year, and it is now a new year, does not mean that things have to improve, that poopy things aren't going to happen. WE define time, but time has no rules. So, long story short, there have been additional poopy events.

Sometimes there is so much happening, you really don't feel like there IS time for anything else but dealing with it. Perhaps it was due to my fantastic chiropractor and massage therapist for allowing me to finally relax for a brief period of time recently, but I remembered how it felt to do the January giveaway... I remembered how excited I was for this project. I generally dislike commitment, but this was different...this was for me, promising to find a way to continue doing what I love, no matter what. I have a lot of things to figure out in the other parts of my life, but I have something I made that I can giveaway, and I have a video camera, and internet access today...which means I can continue this project. So darn it, no excuses! Speaking is not one of my strong points, I'm pretty stuffed up, and there are a million other reasons you may actually find valid for me not feeling like doing this right now... but that's not the point. I'm technically alive...and I have the pieces to make it happen. So here we go...

February... while it is still cold, I've got a pair of fingerless gloves for you! They are knitted with double yarn, which makes them a bit thicker and squishier. I had experimented with this pair, attempting to "draw" with yarn. I chose to do a little blue bird, and intended to add a second blue bird on the cuff of the other glove. If you like what you see, please either go to my facebook or google+ and comment on the video that you want in. The deadline: Wednesday, March 4, at noon (central)... Then watch for a video where I do the drawing live to announce the winner.

 

I know this wasn't the last test...and I know I may want to stop again, or even feel the need to do so in order to deal with other life things. But hopefully I can keep reminding myself of this very important lesson, to keep doing what I love doing.

January Art Giveaway 2015

As announced in my previous post, I've decided to do a monthly art giveaway for 2015! This idea was a bit delays, so January is going to have to share a few days with February.

 

So here we go...The gift: an Echo painting!

 

These paintings are made mostly, if not completely, from repurposed material. The backing allows for complete freedom when deciding which way is up. Everyone sees something different in these, so YOU decide. ;)

 

I've created a video for this giveaway, but will also write it out below for those who would may be unable to watch it in video form... Additional rules not covered in the video will also be included below.

 

 

 

I've selected 3 echoes for participants to choose from.

 

Pick ONE :)

 



 

Entries can be submitted on my facebook artist page or google+  Simply comment on the giveaway video with your choice :) The deadline is Monday, February 2, 2015, at 7pm (central).

 

A few ground rules:

• There may be some shipping restrictions to countries outside of the USA -- if this prevents me from shipping it to you, I will unfortunately have to pick a runner up. 
• You can enter for multiple giveaways, but you can only win ONCE. The exception: if no one enters a giveaway, or if the only people who enter are previous winners, you will then be eligible to win again, so go ahead and put your name in for any of them that you really like!
• If a giveaway has multiple options, you may only choose one. The other options will be for sale and added to the online store ( http://nfg.shophandmade.com/ ). If you would like to purchase any of the other pieces and have them sent with the piece you won, we can make arrangements.
• I've been trying to be more eco-friendly, and would like to encourage winners to consider passing the art on to other art lovers or sending it back if you decide to ever part with the piece.

 Here are your options, one more time...



A

 

 

B

 

C

Winners: I would love if you'd send me a photo of how you end up displaying the pieces or you with the piece or whatever, though it is not a requirement.

 

I'm so excited to begin this project. Thanks for checking it out!

NO EXCUSES! :)

An old facebook banner, a reminder. This was from a beautiful, wonderful day 

during a year with some of the most heartbreaking moments... 

Film photos by Andrew Kufahl

A few years back, I felt very at fairly at peace with my life and where I was at with it. It was not what I thought it would be, it was not ideal, but none of that mattered. I could be who I wanted to be and live how I want to live. Despite having plenty of excuses (and some may actually be valid reasons), I was trying to live without them. Bad things happened, terrible things happened, but wonderful things also happened. I had numerous failures and mistakes, but they never stopped me...I always found my way through, and sometimes I'd find myself in places I'd never imagine before-better than I could have imagined! I realized, as long as you're alive, there are always options. They may be hard to see, they may not even exist yet, but they are there...somewhere...

I craved mountain tops and waves... And somehow found my way there. Despite limitations. 

The next year was more of the same, but then things started to change...

An accomplishment I never thought 

possible, a bucket list item, a gift 

to Grandpa...

       ...in the midst of a crap storm.

I started feeling the pressure of my circumstance. I started seeing my restrictions. I started to not feel FREE anymore. I stopped listening to what I truly wanted and started listening more to outside factors/people. It was a familiar feeling, but one I thought I was able to let go and be free from. Crap. It was back.

I was no longer doing much of what I loved anymore, I felt all my time had to be devoted to putting out fire after fire. Fires I didn’t feel I didn’t even start and I couldn’t understand where they were coming from. It was exhausting. In the rare occasion I was able to do something actually enjoyable, it always felt like a fight, and very rarely was it pretty, and even more rare was me actually “winning” that fight. There was always some form of negative energy that I had to figure out what to do with. I think I learned a lot of valuable lessons, but boy is it exhausting to live that way. I don’t know what the future holds, I know there will be more struggles, but I don’t know if it has to have the same result. I’ve been thinking a lot, trying to figure out why I had a year or two in there where I did feel free and at peace, where I was doing things I loved-no matter what limitations were there. Bad things still happened, but something had been very different...

I’ve been remembering lessons I had once learned that I felt changed my life. And I’m realizing I don’t think I’m living them anymore. I can list off all sorts of reasons as to why this may have happened, but what really matters is that I want to make a change. I want to remember those lessons and get them back in my life. 

During some really difficult times, Andrew Kufahl and

I buckled down on a project we had been talking about

for a while... somehow, we did a crazy project, made 

a book, had a gallery show, the project appeared on 

some of our idols blogs/pages, were able to donate 

some of the proceeds to a cause close to our hearts...
I never imagined any of that happening!

I caught myself saying something the other day that looking back was actually kind of ridiculous. If you haven’t heard, Taylor Swift has been doing some really nice things for her fans lately...a lot of nice things! I’ve found it inspiring and ended up saying to a friend “See, I think that would be one of the coolest parts about being rich/famous...to be able to just give like that!” I remember thinking this quite often throughout my life about other celebrities/rich folks, aka "successful" people. But I got to thinking recently...I give, and I enjoy to give, even though I don’t have the money or some of the other abilities, even though I'm not the standard definition of successful. Why have I set up this limitation or rule now, that I can’t give anything actually worth giving unless I was in a better financial position, or unless I was successful, etc.?! I realized I may be letting my past -of having my kindness be taken advantage of- also make me feel I can’t give. It is time to find that healthy happy medium and to free myself up a bit.  

I really  really REALLY love creating. And this has taken over so many parts of my life in a very good way. EVERYTHING can be seen in an artistic way.  The feeling you get when you create something, purely out of passion, just because, it is like nothing else. Last year, I wasn’t creating nearly as much as I wanted to...my circumstances had gone through some major changes  and I didn’t have the space or supplies or time or whatever else to keep creating like I had been. This had a major effect... and even drained other aspects of my life. So when you're just constantly putting out fires, and don't even have your outlets, and then other good parts of life and parts of yourself that you liked start to get drained, it is tough to find your way out... it is tough not to get down about that... I had forgotten a very important lesson I learned through previous struggles... Even when everything seems to be going wrong, when everything is going against you, you can STILL muster up the energy and creativity to find a way to MAKE something beautiful/good happen. No matter how small. So what I experienced was not just a year of a ton of bad stuff, the problem was that  I stopped feeling I had the power to actually CREATE anything good. Eventually, I picked up knitting again (I can do that just about anywhere and it is affordable), despite my limitations and circumstances. Recently, I found myself in circumstances were I am not able to do much knitting, but I don’t want that to stop me this time. I want to keep this going. I want to keep growing and creating. And I want to share it! So...that brings me to this is idea I had...

So are you ready? :)

I’d like to give away something I’ve created, each month, whether it is a painting, something I've knitted, a whole new creation, a print, and so on...who knows what I'll come up with once I get the ball rolling! I would like a large part of this project to encourage me to experiment, to learn new things, to keep growing, to keep CREATING, but the giveaways may include some things I’ve already done. I know this is still pretty vague, but I don’t want to have it too defined. I want to see where it takes me! And I want to share that. So what you need to know is I will be announcing a giveaway type thing once a month...and if you'd like to have a piece of art from me, you just have to say so once it is announced! Then I'll blindly pick someone, and send them something. I would also love it if winners send me a photo once they get their gift. I love seeing how you display my work and the smiles! :) :) :)

Some of the coolest, most precious moments I've experienced,were what 

they were because of passion, love, creativity. This is my Grandpa and my 

cousin...She and I exchange Christmas gifts, mine was incredibly delayed...

I had knit her an afghan, and ended up enlisting the help of family and 

friends, many of whom learned to knit specifically for this project. The 

project made so many amazing moments happen. 

If I can figure out how to do it, I’d also like to maybe throw in a coupon to my shop on occasion for some of the winners  to use as they wish?!

So... here’s to making changes for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life... to living life without excuses, once again. And to MAKING beautiful things, moments, connections, etc. in life...no matter what poopy things go down. :)

If you are interested in the monthly giveaways, I'll be posting them on my artist page: www.facebook.com/NFGartist  

TIP: If you hover over the “Like” button for the page, you can be sure to get updates by clicking the “Get Notifications” button. That way you don't have to miss them if facebook does not show these posts on your feed! 

Well, it appears January is almost over, so I better get my butt moving. 

Dreams | Bucket list: A gift to Grandpa

This post will be a little more personal... And I'm skipping to present day, for a moment. 2014 has been an interesting year to say the least. I haven't been doing many of things I enjoy this year, for various reasons. This year has felt like a constant struggle. It has been a difficult in many ways, yet I think there have been some huge changes with my insides. While I've felt like a sinking ship, I can tell other parts are growing in strength. I'm learning, I'm  letting go, and I'm filling my life with meaning (with what means something to me).

There is one amazing part to this year that despite the reasons behind it, I am incredibly grateful for: I have been able to spend more time than ever with my grandparents. I've been fairly close to them my whole life, as they attended every art show, sporting event, birthday party, etc. And they babysat me for my throughout my childhood. But this year was different, our relationship grew deeper. I spent a few nights at their house when I needed a place to stay, they welcomed me with open arms. One night, when Grandma was headed to bed, I gave her a hug and told her thank you. She replied "Thank YOU!" I asked her what she meant by that, as I'm not really doing anything for her, they're helping ME out. She told me "Thank you for being you" and let me know how she enjoyed my company. I had not fallen asleep feeling so at peace in quite some time.

Grandpa had a few health issues over the course of this year that landed him in the hospital. I offered to stay with Grandma, to help out with anything she may need and to just be there. Grandma and I really enjoyed spending the extra time together. We had deeper conversations than I've had with most people, she was always really good at reminding me of some valuable life lessons too.

Grandma teaching me some new techniques

It was such an cool experience to be able to witness my grandparents in a way no one else probably has (at this point in their lives). I got to watch as they helped one another, they each had their routines yet they also had joint routines that just worked, few/no words were needed. I loved catching a glimpse of Grandma peacefully reading, all tucked into bed, or waking up to Grandpa reading the paper-he'd always pause to say "Good morning" to me and ask how I slept. I talked with them about their travels, and about mine. They did not judge- even if they didn't fully understand my unusual lifestyle, they were great listeners, and they were kind. It was soothing to be there with them, things were calm and quiet. And they had a pretty good understanding about what matters in life vs what we shouldn't waste our time on. Just being there helped remind me and made it easy for me to get back to what's important.

Grandpa "trying on" pieces of the
blanket, the closest thing to a sweater
I could do...

While I was spending more time with my grandparents, I used it as an opportunity to do a few fun projects involving them...

In college, I learned how to knit for a class. Grandma helped me grasp the techniques that were a bit tricky for a lefty trying to learn from all right-handers. I did a few projects outside of school, but eventually stopped. A few years passed, and I decided to give it a go again. I had an idea for a gift for my cousin-we exchange gifts every Christmas. I thought it would be fun to make some sort of blanket. Grandma had also been on a knitting break, but was up for reteaching me the basics, and even joined in on the project. I quickly realized I bit off far more than I could chew-who thinks they can relearn how to knit and then make an afghan in just over a month?! I ended up enlisting the help of other family members and a friend (the pattern made it easy for multiple people to participate). The gift was incredibly late, but turned out great and came with a booklet of photographs of the entire process (everyone involved). We were all a part of making something cool, and Grandma and I were back into knitting. ( The image above and the image to the right are two from that project)

Mukluks!

Now, to take it to the next level... I had only done square/rectangular things thus far, and only knitting (no purling or any fancy techniques). So Grandma helped me create some mukluks (slippers). Holy smokes! It took a lot more concentration, but I loved every part of this.

I was tired of babysteps...I had another project in mind... one that I've been wanting to do for a long time...but I was definitely going to need Grandma's help on this one... The only problem was Grandma was quite busy making baby afghans for family members. I decided to wait.

It wasn't long before Grandpa ended up in the hospital again. Suddenly the decision was made to put Grandma and Grandpa into assisted living--something they've never really wanted. My Grandpa along with my Grandma's father built their house, and they've lived there for nearly 70 years. It is more of a home to me than anywhere. So much about this process was unpleasant and difficult, and I suddenly was not able to spend nearly as much time with my Grandparents. I missed being able to spend time with them like I had been... and now I wasn't ever sure I'd be able to continue these projects.

Not long after being in the assisted living center, Grandpa's health started to show some signs of decline. I decided I needed to start this project now, on my own, or I may never have the chance...

I had already begun!

This project was for my Grandpa, a man who always had a sense of humor. He'd like to poke at ya, to get a reaction. Eventually you'd know when it was coming just by the smirk on his face. An example of this: ever since I started knitting, he'd ask me "So how's my sweater comin'?" Followed by his signature chuckle. Grandma and I would both laugh, I could barely knit a potholder! But it secretly became a bucket list item, to make him a sweater one day. I was so intimidated and felt there had to be this progression, there were skills I needed to develop before I can accomplish such a project. It felt so far away. Well now my time was up, I either had to jump in and give it a go, or simply let that bucket list item go. I couldn't let it go. Something inside me just pushed forward, making up my mind that no matter what, this was going to happen. I knew the color I wanted, I gathered up every shade in my collection and additional colors in case I wanted to switch it up-I generally use thrift store yarn, and rarely do you ever find enough of the same color to do an entire project.

I asked around, to friends who were also knitters, trying to feel out if I'd be able to get any help since Grandma's plate was pretty full at the moment. I didn't even know where to begin! I had no clue how to read a pattern, or tell the difficulty level. A friend was kind enough to send me a pattern that she thought may be doable, but she was more into crocheting. I took the pattern and ran with it.

I knitted with every free moment I had. My arms burned. My fingers ached and were starting to look permanently curled. I was determined.

Then Grandpa ended up back in the hospital... and this time, there was a good chance he would not be leaving...

I barely slept.

Knitting with Grandma

I had to enlist the help of my Grandma for the complicated parts that I just couldn't figure out (I swear knitting patterns are in Chinese!). When I first told her about the project, and revealed to her what I had completed already, she was blown away. She'd show it off to anyone who stopped by while I was there, proudly saying "Isn't it a beautiful pattern? She's really come a long way!" Various people would make comments, thinking I was crazy or that this project is pointless considering the situation. I'm not sure anything could get me "out of the zone" though... And this was something between me, Grandma, and Grandpa.

It wasn't long before Grandpa was no longer able to speak, his eyes now remained closed.

When I first started this project, I had it all planned out... I would complete the sweater (with Grandma's help) and set up a day with Grandma and Grandpa to visit, bringing the secret sweater, wrapped. I'd make sure someone was photographing/videoing the whole process, because I guarantee Grandpa would have gotten a kick out of this and that would be a reaction I'd want to be able to remember. I could almost hear his chuckle... But now it was too late... I wasn't going to be able to hear that chuckle again...

I visited him every day. The family took shifts staying with him, to make sure he remained comfortable. I brought the sweater to work on during my shift-I barely put the thing down through the whole process, but during my 4+ hour shift of just sitting in the hospital with him, all I wanted to do was hold his hand. So I pulled the recliner along side his bed, lied down, and did just that...

I didn't get the chance to show him the sweater while he was awake, but I did lay what I had done over his chest, and ran his hand along it, telling him what I was making, telling him the colors. He always looked good in blue.

Late night sweater work

I was supposed to leave town that week with Andrew Kufahl for a photo/art related adventure, but decided to do an abridged version of the trip. However, when it came to the day Andrew and I were supposed to leave, I felt some unexplainable panicky feelings. I couldn't think anymore, I couldn't function, I couldn't go. The only things I could do were knit, visit Grandpa, and visit/help Grandma (we brought her to the hospital nearly every day to visit Grandpa, letting her stay as long as she wished). Outside of that, nothing else mattered. I had been looking forward to this trip, a painting of mine was accepted into a show in Michigan, I was excited to meet up with a couple photographers, Andrew and I were finally going to be able to work together again, but I just couldn't do it. I barely slept that night, I just kept knitting. In the morning, early early, I woke up and debated on at least trying to make it to the art opening that night... but still, I just couldn't... not long after, I got the phone call. It was my aunt, unsure if Grandpa was still breathing or not. I flew out of bed and scrambled to throw something on and run out the door. I was interrupted by a second phone call, just minutes after... Dad called to say he was officially gone. I raced to the hospital.

The fact that he was 92 does not comfort me. I am so thankful to have had such a wonderful Grandpa, but I wanted him forever... so no matter how I look at it, it just hurts. And I miss him. He was a huge part of my life, and has left a massive hole in my heart.

Knitting has brought on some really peaceful moments. Max, 

who is in need of a home, was pacing a bit one day when I 

visited him at a kennel he's being temporarily housed at. 

I started knitting, and he laid down nearby...  I only had feet 

available,but started petting him anyway... he became right at 

home, snoozing for over 45 minutes! 

The sweater was nearly finished, but it still felt like so long to go. I asked Grandma for permission to  place the sweater in the casket with Grandpa, if I was able to complete it in time. She loved the idea.

I'm not sure how it is possible to get even less sleep than I was getting, but I gave up just about everything to continue this project. I was told that even if I don't finish, I can still give it to Grandpa. That wasn't an option. My dream was to make a sweater for Grandpa, a man who did so much for me, for everyone in the family and who I was never sure how to thank enough. I wanted to give him something special. I HAD to finish this.

That week was ridiculous. I can't even explain it all. But the day after my Grandpa died, my car died. And then a day or two later, my backup vehicle died (mom's). I was going to be bringing my Grandma to the funeral, but the way it was looking, we'd be walking! Thankfully, my aunt (on the other side of the family) was kind enough to let me borrow her vehicle. She also told me how to attach the sleeves of the sweater. ;)

I asked Grandma if she'd like to cut out a heart from a piece of her own clothing to sew onto the sweater. Despite her eyes being bad, she did it. (The next morning, she redid it because she felt she had done a poor job :) )

I didn't sleep at all the night before the funeral. The skin on my hands had been progressively cracking, my hands were a wreck. My body wanted to shut down on me. I think I laid down for less than an hour, and then was up and getting ready for the funeral... wondering when I was going to fit in the last part of the sweater...

I had to do the neck yet-still completely clueless as to how to do this.  I continued knitting in the back of the church during the family portion of the service. The neck was not well done by any means. I screwed it up. I'm not sure a head can even fit through there! I'm disappointed in that. However, I finished it and Grandma and I placed it into the casket together.

I dragged my feet on ever starting this project. There were a million excuses, some were totally valid reasons for pushing it off, some were just my messed up perception. When it came down to it, the love and passion I poured into that thing for my wonderful Grandpa made it happen. It didn't matter I didn't know how to read a pattern, or increase/decrease stitches. It didn't matter I've only ever made squares or slippers. It didn't matter I was still trying to get the hang of purling down. It didn't matter how badly my body hated me for pushing it so hard. It didn't matter I screwed up a lot (the second half was a nightmare!). It didn't matter I was sad, that I was tired, that I was stressed, or what outside people did/said. It didn't matter that there wasn't enough time. I wish I would have let all of those things not matter sooner, so I could have given the sweater to Grandpa when he was well. There is no changing that. I am so incredibly thankful for completing it in time to give to him at all.

As silly as this project may have seemed to some, it was loaded with meaning for me. It pushed me well out of my comfort zone, I was able to create something I never thought I could yet always wanted to, I was able to finally give Grandpa something special (that was a thing between us), and this project reminded me that with love and passion, you can do some insane things! It was also a great reminder to NOT drag my feet... and if for whatever reason I still drag my feet, every moment is a new opportunity to change that.

Thank you Grandpa, for all the love, laughs, and inspiration.

Dreams | Travels: The Carolinas

It has always been a dream of mine to travel. When I was working a normal job, full time, I felt I didn't have the time, the travel buddies, etc. There was always some reason. When I became unemployed, I had the time but lacked the funds. More reasons. Eventually I realized, there is and always will be some sort of excuse, as valid as they may seem. So I started trying to live my life-and my dreams-differently than I ever had before...without excuses.

I had a couple opportunities to do a little traveling once I hit my twenties-I dated a guy out of state, I had a friend who took me along on a couple work trips, I was lucky to experience travel in these ways... with people I got along with. I quickly became addicted to flying and travel in general. But I was spoiled, as I didn't have to do any work with the planning/booking.

A few years later, after I lost my job and got into the modeling/photography world, an opportunity came up to model out of state... to meet photographers I may never have had the chance to meet- a lot of people in a short period of time. It was a large workshop. While I was financially responsible for the whole trip, it seemed like a good opportunity and a good step in pursuing what I love.

And lucky for me, photographer Andrew Kufahl had interest in attending as a student for a while now. So we decided to go for it.

This was the first time I would have to do the planning. I quickly realized just how difficult it can be when you're working with a tight budget and a time frame. This would require some creativity and patience...

The main purpose of this trip was for the workshop, in Charlotte, NC. I had a large amount of prep to do simply for that. But I couldn't help but research what else would be in the area... I had never been to North Carolina. Or South Carolina...hmmmmmm....

I felt a strong desire to soak in as much as I possibly could... to use this opportunity thoroughly...because who knows if I'll have the chance again...

My planning process is puzzle-like and involves a large
amount of post-it notes and scrap paper

When I was researching flights, I was frustrated at fluctuating prices for the most convenient routes. I started trying to get creative... to see how I could combo my main goals: see/experience as much as possible, for as cheap as possible, with the amount of time we were given.

The approximate ridiculous route, not including the accidental detour to
Tennessee that Andrew surprised me with after a brief nap

So we flew into Asheville, NC... immediately went waterfall exploring in Transylvania County...I can't remember how many we made it to, but there were a TON in the area, and each was unique. We even were able to fit in a hike-in search of a big one that was known for its rainbows... The hike ended up being much longer than expected... sweating, huffing and puffing, we finally heard what was undoubtedly rushing water... and then water started misting our faces... how refreshing! A few steps further, and we saw it... it was breathtaking! We watched people cliff jump and took a moment to take it all in... We ended up running most of the way back due to time constraints and a hungry bug that decided Andrew would make an excellent  lunch... that was all we needed to get our butts moving!

Waterfall hopping!

TIP: It is incredibly handy to 

travel with someone taller 

and stronger than you...

for moments like this...

when a ladder would not

fit one into your suitcase.

View out our door, river 

running in the background.

From there, we followed winding roads into the mountains, deep out of cell range... We were going to be spending the night in a cabin, on the riverfront, in Hot Springs, NC. After relaxing in the hot spring hot tubs while listening to the river, we  struggled with soggy campfire wood to make some sort of dinner. Our campground neighbors offered up their hot coals-as they were about to turn in for the night, and had issues getting their  fire going as well. We were not sure what to expect with the weather for this trip... especially with the range of area we planned to cover. The majority of my bags were filled with modeling necessities for the workshop. This cabin required campers to bring their own bedding-we learned the hard way, it can get quite chilly here! Life lessons. ;)

Between time simply moving far too fast and the uncomfortably chilly night, we barely slept... But we pulled ourselves out of bed for our next  adventure: Grandfather Mountain... the mile high swing bridge caught my interest when I had been researching the area.

Every turn up the mountain made us gasp at the view... we were in awe... Couldn't get enough of it! When we finally arrived to the bridge location, we were filled with excitement. The swing bridge was sadly not very swingy, but the view was incredible!

We sat down-I dangled my feet over the edge... Andrew nervously looked on from a few feet back. The shadows of clouds moved over the landscape--oh how small we are! I remember days when a cloud would move in, and it seemed to cover my whole world... sometimes it was beautiful and welcomed, other times it was frustrating... Observing it from up here, even the clouds looked small! And they were creating these small moments that seemed to be so big before... Up here, it was unbelievably quiet... you could feel the wind in a different way than you do when you're in a city... on the ground... my little world was blown wide open, and I was reminded that there is so much more out there... so much more than I can know or see. This moment in itself changed me... I could have spent the whole day in that spot!

Pouting, we had to carry on to our next stop, but admittedly we were quite excited it at the same time... We were hoping to check out a mine, and pan for some gold! We had checked several times about the hours of operation and availability. We were sure to leave the mountain with plenty of time to get there... only to arrive and find out they close the panning portion early! We drove all this way and only had this moment to do this... we still were able to tour the mine, and made the most of it... and then we were on our way once again... we were bummed, but now we were headed to the beach!

Exploring the gold mine

Somewhere in between 

mountains and the beach, 

there was a toilet that
required a little extra effort.

Myrtle Beach... sand... water... palm trees... warmth... mmm... This was my very first time seeing the ocean! We arrived at night, but made our way to the water, first thing!

Happy screams as waves snuck up in the dark

I got drenched nearly to my waist, Andrew to his thighs...we watched the lit up ferris wheel, accidentally stumbled across a couple hiding on a sandy grassy pathway who were um enjoying each others company, and I'm pretty sure something in the water hit my leg causing me to run screaming. ;)

While in Myrtle Beach, we had a sunny day and a rainy day. We played mini golf when the rain took a brief moment to rest. And explored a thrift store. We chilled in the hotel's lazy river, walked the beach and walked it some more.

And by mini-golf, I mean goofed around
the whole time...

We also took the opportunity to shoot... we didn't arrive with an idea in mind, but soon enough, we had a seed of inspiration and went to work. We were really just playing around on the beach with a camera. But we ended up getting something pretty neat and totally new as a result! Check it out...

"Do you still remember that night... 

down by the ocean... 

when we just... danced? I do..."                        Photographer: Andrew Kufahl

And then it was time for the workshop... it was difficult to leave the beach, but this trip had an interesting way of making us ache for more time where we were, yet had us thrilled to move on to what was next.

Making friends

There were going to be photographers who I've been fans of for years... Bigger named people than I ever thought I'd have the chance to work with or even meet!

The hotel the hosted the workshop was pretty gosh darn nice. My favorite part was all of the ponds/fountains... where beautiful birds hung out and would say hello if you stopped for a moment...

To be honest, I ran into quite a few bumps during the next few days... I struggled... it was tough to be a "newbie" when it seemed so many people already knew each other and were quite close. It was tough to find a place, to get the necessary info, to fit in, etc. I did not get much shoot time, I did not get to meet or work with many of the mentors...or even the students...And I had no clue to how go about changing that at the time.

I was starting to feel like I was wasting time and money here... and I felt so limited with what I could control. I started feeling down about myself- I was bigger or older than the other models, I'm a no name, I'm too quiet, blah blah blah... a million reasons to feel like I wasn't good enough. We put so much time and money into this trip, that extended far beyond the few days of the actual workshop. Even though Andrew had his own frustrations and struggles, he was supportive and helpful and I learned just how lucky I was--it finally clicked that I was fortunate to have been here with someone who I do fulfilling work with--why not USE this new location for what WE love to do during these down times when I had felt my time and talent was being wasted? Why not control what we can and make sure we get something out of this experience? We both knew we were capable of so much more, and to think otherwise was silly... So we started doing our thing... In between the few classes I modeled for, and the ones Andrew attended as a student, we'd meet up to play. I started doing my own hair and makeup, and let go of feeling like I needed modeling assignments to be doing anything productive... I knew Andrew and I could make good use of the looks I'd create and the 15 outfits I was told to bring that had yet to see daylight. It felt freeing, to create, to do what I came here for, to do what I love... And we got some really really great images! Such as these three:

Photographer: Andrew Kufahl

Photographer: Andrew Kufahl

Photographer: Andrew Kufahl

I did meet/work with two or three mentors who were absolutely wonderful! I thoroughly enjoyed working with them and their students. One night, during the down time, I met a few other attendees who went out of their way to make sure I got some shoot time (receiving images was the only way the models were "paid"... so when I was not getting much shoot time, it really did not seem worth the flight/hotel...and they wanted to help change that!). They were fun, kind, and ended up catching the attention of other students--which resulted in more shoot time! :)  Thank you Ray and Ryan!

Photographer: Amy Parrish

Photographer: Kari Witthuhn-Henning

Andrew and I had also run into some familiar faces... photographers we were friends with from back home. One night, we were all in one place... one of the photogs had a fun photo idea-it had to do with a   water fight. She positioned us, one at a time, threw some water, took her shots. There were lots of laughs and it turned out great!

Thanks to the help of Andrew and the hometown friends, I was also able to briefly meet the one photographers I have been a fan of for years... I also watched a couple of her classes, which was a nice way to enjoy the workshop in other ways outside of modeling.

Amazing how things turned around once I let go of my expectations. Just like the other parts of the trip that didn't work out ideally, there is always something to learn and always a way to get something out of an experience.

Before we flew out, we had one more non photography random pit stop: a giant moving silver head sculpture, Metalmorphosis. We waited, as there were only certain times it would actually move... we waited and waited... eventually, we looked it up online and it was out of order that day. Darn it. It was quite the impressive piece, even when not moving. We admired it, checked ourselves out on the web cam, and enjoyed the beautiful weather...and maybe joked around a bit. ;)

Watching ourselves live via webcam

I am so thankful that we turned this trip into what it was... that we tried to see as much as we could, whether it worked out or not. I'm glad we explored... that we ventured into nature to see things we do not have in our home state. And I am glad that I have a great friend who I enjoy working with-and can work anywhere with... who I can laugh with... and I'm thankful for the reminder of how there are some really kind people out there who are willing to reach out to you. And the reminder that even in situations where you don't feel you have any control, there are ways to get creative to make the most of experience for yourself. I originally thought the point of the trip was the workshop and based its value (and my value) on that element, but there was so much more to it. THIS is the stuff that made the trip what it was... It was filled with life lessons and new experiences that opened my eyes, my mind, my heart. My passion to create was alive and well, and my passion to travel was lit on fire. And just like the feeling I got on Grandfather Mountain, everything was now limitless, and extends far beyond what I could possibly see, expect, or know...


Watch facebook for additional photos from this event, including more behind the scenes shots! www.facebook.com/NFGartist

x