Full-fledged collaboration...

Looking back...

Once I started working with Andrew Kufahl, we realized we clicked really well together. We both have a thing for creating very emotional images. Eventually, our roles weren't as clearly defined (me = model, Andrew = photographer/model)...we both started throwing out ideas and developing them into actual shots, feeding off of each other. These are a couple of shots that I started giving some slightly more feedback on than usual...

For the image "Looking back..." I believe Andrew and I were itching to shoot, but were running short on time. We talked about a tiny seed of an idea, started setting it up, and eventually got something we felt had the emotion we were looking for. This was not long after the hair incident, so I was still not fully comfortable with my look... but the overall emotion we got here, completely happy! 

Two forms of misdirection...

I had a really vague idea one day... and I told Andrew about it... I wanted something with two people lying on the steps, in opposite directions... the guy holding onto the girl's leg... I had no idea what I wanted it to mean, I didn't know how to safely accomplish this, I didn't have a clue about lighting or wardrobe or makeup. This is some of the stuff Andrew gets to deal with-me throwing out a really vague idea, not knowing squat about it, and him having to jump in to create something off of that... trying to figure out what my vision is, even if I don't fully know it! This photo, "Two forms of misdirection..." was challenging for so many reasons. Obviously Andrew had a project on his hand with simply trying to make sense of what little detail I could give him. On top of that, we had to figure out how to light this thing and wardrobe/styling/hair... We didn't have many options on us at the time.. but we thought it would be neat to go with something fairly plain, beige... since this concept was sort of "out there"... we thought it would be neat to pair that with a very "blah" appearance so perhaps the viewer has to search a little bit. I'm not sure I can tell you the details of the wardrobe without getting in trouble with Andrew. It was funny, I'll leave it at that! We decided to have the woman face down, for a little extra weirdness... We wanted longer hair, so it could be messy and add more interest. Eventually we were ready to shoot. Andrew got the camera ready, I started to get into position...and then we realized another much larger issue to deal with... It would be impossible for me to lay on the steps like this! They were steep and slippery. I'd have to kneel on the steps (quite the sight to see!) until Andrew could run up to his spot, get into his pose, grab my ankle, give me the ok, and then I had to go limp... But Andrew had to watch out that he didn't slip, or press up against the wall (it would ruin the feel of his pose)... There was a lot of strength, timing and trust involved! I had a different shoot the next day, and I'm not sure "rug-burn face" was the look the photographer was interested in. Thankfully we avoided that. ;) 

Here and There...

This next image turned out far more powerful than I could have imagined... it is so simple, yet the emotion always gets me. This was another vague idea... What I really love about it is that the darkness has swallowed us up, and although we are in similar poses, the details of each give such different emotions. Andrew wrote an incredibly moving poem inspired by this image that I will include a bit later. The image is called "Here and There..." The biggest challenge of this shot? My allergies to cats. We were actually sitting on a large chair at Andrew's house, that happened be a favored spot by his adorable, fluffy cat. We wrapped up the shoot and I had to run out of the house, and make the 45 minute drive home for medication so I could resume normal breathing. 

I had done my own self portraits, and I had modeled for various photographers, but I had not collaborated in this way before. I had felt I was in a creative rut after the haircut... as strange as that may sound... my look didn't inspire me, and I didn't feel like being in front of the camera. Working with Andrew had opened up a new creative outlet. I love his style, and I trust that any idea I have, he'll be able to make it come to life. That trust, that's huge... for an artist to give up their ideas to another artist can be quite risky since we all see the world so differently. I think it helps that we see photography in a similar way and have clicked so well. He's always seen me as an equal, and welcomed my ideas. And every idea I've shared-no matter how big or small or vague or ridiculous, he's respected, kept safe, and turned into a beautiful piece of art.  

This is the poem Andrew wrote to accompany the photo "Here and There..." A piece of art in itself...

Here and There...
=======================
In deep darkness I found you.
Under rocks...
in crevices...
a drop of rain underneath the bark of a dying tree...
but there I was.

In the absence of light I found you.
Nothing lit the way...
no sound to follow...
a silent scream in the night under the cover of bed sheets...
but there I was.

In the presence of pain I found you.
The fuel for your tears...
bone grinding on bone...
when you thought nobody understood the hurt you withstand...
there I was.

In your lonely prison I found you.
Behind bars...
cold concrete floors...
the arms that embraced your shattered soul, are no longer just your own...
because there I am.

...there I am.

I am blind right beside you.
My hands fumble in the night with you.
Without eyes we can't see,
but I see you...
and you see me just fine.

I hurt deep inside with you,
and scream in pain in this cell with you.
One arm is around you and the other
is picking up shards...

a piece of you...
a piece of me...
a piece of you...
a piece of me...

There's gonna be gaps,
and there's gonna be spaces...
All these pieces fit perfect no more.

But the edges that meet,
they bond tight together,
and some pieces we leave on the floor.

Here you are...
Here I am...
When it's dark can we open the door?
Here you are...
Here I am...
Take my hand and I tell you once more...

Here I am.
.
.

How to turn your bathtub into a studio...

One of the things I love about working with  Andrew Kufahl (Flickr) is that he can create fantastic artistic photos anywhere, in any lighting. Another awesome thing about Andrew is he has been interested in what goes on with the model's side of things. Both of these things came together in this shoot...

Once I had met Andrew and started working with him more, we had discussions on the importance of wardrobe/styling, hair, makeup, and how that effects a photo. On a smaller scale, we just talked about what makeup can do to a face. This is something he had already started looking into and studying a bit. Well now he had someone to practice on! So one day, we decided to have Andrew apply my makeup. We looked through pictures and books, studying how certain looks were achieved. There is a lot of art that goes into this, and with us both having some sort of art background, it was easy to dissect in that way. Andrew let me know what he wanted our look to end up like, and I gave tips on how to get that look. Because he isn't one for taking the easy route, he also decided he wanted to do all of this with color-another element to worry about!

The first eye took quite some time. There is a lot to get used to when applying makeup to someone else, and it is even more difficult for a guy to do so since he does not have the experience of having applied makeup to himself on a daily basis-or ever! He has not idea what it feels like. So Andrew of course started off quite timid, as he didn't want to cause any pain. We had to do several coats to get the values we needed for the look, and he got more and more comfortable with the feel of things. Eventually, one eye was done! It looked great. He got the shape he wanted, he got the colors he wanted, awesome. I think he almost forgot about the second eye, and he was not as excited about this one! The biggest obstacle with this part was to match the two eyes. He was surprised at how difficult that was-and with so many elements to think about, it make it even more difficult. But we got there!

We also chatted about the other types of makeup, I showed him some of my tricks to achieve certain looks -like with blush/cheeks- and let him do the other side. With my face complete, I did some quick styling with my hair. We were ready to shoot! But now what? We didn't think that far... 

We started shooting in my bathroom, where we had been doing hair/makeup. And we stayed in my bathroom-more specifically, we shot in the bathtub. Afterwards, we had to laugh because our previous model shoot (which was our first) was done in my downstairs bathroom! Looking at both these shoots, I find it hard to believe that we used bathrooms for our studio. The space is very  cramped, it isn't the best lighting, it isn't even the best backdrop! But some how Andrew was able to get some killer shots that were quite artistic and filled with emotion. It doesn't matter what you have to work with, if you have an artistic eye and a good understanding of art and photography, there are no limits.

To see more from this shoot: www.facebook.com/NFGartist and look for my "Modeling 2" album.

Problem solving and my first video project

In a previous post, I mentioned my that "butchered hair situation" forced me to work on my  problem solving skills (When everything came to a screeching halt...). I had shoots lined up that people still wanted to use me for, we just to find a way to work with this hair that no longer fits the part. One of these shoots was for the cover of Rummele's Christmas catalog which I discussed here: Rummeles Winter Catalog Cover. 

This wig came in handy for a few other shoots that I thought I'd never be able to do, such as the video project with Jason Thiel, called "He Loves Me Not." I was asked to model for this project a while back, but the character needed long blonde hair (which I had when I was asked). The time frame didn't work out for us-with when the videographer wanted to shoot and when I was going to donate my hair...and the result of the haircut took me completely out of the running for this role. I had gotten a message from Jason a few months later though, he said he just couldn't shake the thought of me as the model for this. Well, it just so happened with the new wig and extensions, I CAN have long blonde hair now! So we started talking about the details and I was officially back in. Note: all stills are from the official video "He Loves Me Not" and the outtake  video by Jason Thiel / Copper Clover Films 

This project was something totally new for me, another great opportunity. I loved the story, and I loved Jason's work. When Jason and I had met prior to the shoot, he told me he wanted to discuss what I felt I wanted out of this, what made this worth my while-something some people don't necessarily keep in mind for their models. I loved that he wanted to be sure this was not a waste of anyone's time, that he wanted to create something we could all be very proud of. In my mind, I had a ton to gain from a project like this... and I ended up getting more than I even imagined!


When shoot day arrived, it was quite cold. It had unexpectedly snowed-not a lot, but enough to mess with the idea and plan a bit, and we weren't supposed to get snow yet! The sun would be going down soon. I was wearing a thin lacy white dress, and "combat" boots with not much else to keep me warm. We were going to have to work quick! Fortunately there were a few extra hands around to keep my coat warm in between scenes and to help keep things moving smoothly. (Kim Thiel and Steve Wagner) 

There were no speaking lines in this project, it was important to show emotion in other ways, such as body language-much like I do during photoshoots. The tricky part with video is that you're constantly moving! You don't get to take a moment to get into character, to think about your poses, to find your most flattering angle, to get into an emotion, you have to jump in and keep going throughout the scene. 

I started out a bit shaky... There was a lot to get used to, and this was out of my comfort zone. On top of that, I can be a giggly person! I had always been nervous about my tendency to laugh when modeling, but because you can take a moment to recompose and there is no sound, it hasn't been a problem. But again, video is a whole different beast! I got the giggles. We all got the giggles. It was impossible not to at times. A nice group of people with a sense of humor who love what they do, I think that is bound to happen! And a man in dress shoes trying to walk down a hill that is unexpectedly covered in snow, there was no way to keep a straight face! Watch the blooper here: Blooper.


I learned so much from this project. I learned about movement, I learned things I never knew about posing and emoting. We had weather and light to combat that made us keep moving and have to make decisions quickly. I had to lay on the ground/ice at one point and my clothing actually started freezing to the ice! I love how much this project pushed me in so many good ways. And even through the challenging parts, it was truly a fun and enjoyable experience. 

Jason, Kim, and Steve were all wonderful to work with, they made sure I stayed warm and helped me learn the ropes. This was a personal project for Jason, something a bit different from his normal work, and I am honored to have been a part of making this vision come to life. Check out the full video here: He Loves Me Not. 

To see more of my work, please visit www.facebook.com/NFGartist