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...and so what if I would fall, for you...
Photographer: Andrew Kufahl
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So far in the blogs, I have caught up to the photoshoots that occurred in 2012. I know I'm still so far behind. 2012 was a doozy of a year...
Last year, I stopped blogging about this schtuff... I hit a few road blocks (read more here)... I don't think I was ready to talk about some of what happened, or to have to relive it, for various reasons. Within the past month or two, I have started writing again (Where did I leave off?, Kiddie camera, Live hair and makeup competition in Chicago, If only you could have seen this process..., Counting Crows CD Cover contest, Circus Nerve art show), and I have been soaking up some great lessons while enjoying these images and experiences.
But now, to be honest, I feel I'm dragging a bit...
Some of that could be life stuff that is happening now. But I think I'm also thinking too far ahead again... there are so many shoots to catch up on, it is a little overwhelming at times, yet that is silly as I chose to start this blog and no one is pressuring me to continue. So let's keep the ball rolling!
I think I am also a tad hesitant to continue with 2012, since as I mentioned, it was a doozy... one of the most difficult years of my life. What a crazy rollercoast ride of a year...
This next shoot was heavily influenced by what was going on in real life at the time. It was a good one for me, and was inspired by a lesson that never hurts to remember before it is too late. So I'm reminding myself of this, in 2014.
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It was all so clear...
Photographer: Andrew Kufahl
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Andrew Kufahl was the photographer. We were both having a very difficult year. To sum it up, we both had been losing people who we cared about, too many, and it happened so quickly. It was a heartbreaking year, to put it mildly, yet we also had some really amazing moments involving travels and larger projects (stay tuned!). We had really connected with our work, and had been working together more and more. We were constantly coming up with ideas and wanting to grow as individual artists and as a team. It was interesting that we were both dealing with such heavy things in life at the time, while I would never wish that on anyone, I think it helped us to know there was someone else going through something similar. And our work really helped us.
It was a struggle to know how to keep going through what seemed to be an endless streak of losses, and sometimes we didn't want to. But sometimes, we were able to have things like this shoot, which helped remind us to appreciate every single second that we have RIGHT NOW. Sometimes that was enough to help pull us through.
It was April or May, I can't quite remember the exact date. A tree in Andrew's yard was in bloom. He told me how he tried to photograph it as often as he could. The flowers didn't last long but he looked forward to it every year. He expressed wanting to continue photographing it, trying to find new ways to capture the beauty. We decided to use it as a part of a model shoot. We had a few things we've been wanting to try out anyway-like some simple styling and whatnot, mixed with emotion of course. It was a great opportunity.
The petals were already starting to fall. A reminder of how quickly time could pass us by, and time was our of our control. We could only control how we used this time... so we made the time to jump in and play.
This tree smelled incredible. The petals sprinkled down gently, quietly. The color was so soft and comforting. To be IN that, and to FEEL that, was wonderful inspiration.
We got lost in our own little world of soft pink flowers that were falling right before our eyes..
Andrew had expressed some of his thoughts beautifully about this shoot that I would like to reshare, along with the BTS snapshot we captured.
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Andrew Kufahl:
The two types of inevitable things...
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Petals...
from a flowering tree...
lying on the sidewalk...
There are things in this life that are inevitable and known. It was inevitable, under normal circumtances, that the tree in my yard would flower... the flowers would lose their petals... crabapples would soon follow... and so-on throughout the summer... until winter comes and takes it all away until next spring/summer.
There are things in this life that are inevitable and unknown. It is a fact, that people will pass away. In this last year alone, I've lost 4 people that had some level of significance in my life. 3 of those people, have passed away in the last 3 weeks... 2 of those people, passed away this past Sunday. It was inevitable, because we all will go one day... but it is unknown, when our time will be. This has caused me, as it does most people, to do a lot of reflection and evaluation of my life. Am I taking for granted, the people that are in my life? Am I loving enough? Am I helping enough? Is my path in life too selfish? And I could go on, and on, and on...
The flowers on the crabapple tree are not there for very long. It's important to me, that when I see them about to bloom, I look at it everyday. That I enjoy the visual beauty of it... the smell of it... and even to touch it. I try to appreciate it as much as possible, because soon it will be gone.
I'm trying to do a better job of appreciating the people that are in my life. It is a difficult task, because I have been a selfish person for far too long. But I see these people in my life, most especially the ones that have passed... and I would like to go back and appreciate them more... see them more... hug them... and let them know how much I cared about them.
Don't let the petals fall before you realize you've missed the beauty of what was right there in front of you...
I'm writing this for myself... and I'm writing it also for some people that are close to me who have experienced too much loss in such a short period of time. We all know that it isn't fair when they are taken from us... But these words are to remind us that we know this will happen... it's inevitable... it's just not known when. Don't find yourself saying "I wish I would have"... instead, say "I'm glad I did".
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While we played around with some superficial things like hair, clothes, accessories, lighting, we were very much in tune with this beautiful tree and with the moment. We tried to cherish every part of it. And I'm so thankful that through our mode of expression, we were able to capture this experience and lesson through images, and that I get to relive something like this again, a couple years later.
To see more from this shoot: www.facebook.com/NFGartist or www.facebook.com/AndrewKufahl
