A little rusty - self portraits

A long, long time ago, I started playing around with self portraits simply to keep up my photoshop skills after school while I searched for a job in graphic design. I had never liked my photo being taken, but I was the only one around at odd hours of the night/morning. It became an artistic outlet, which later helped out when I stumbled into the local modeling world. And then I just stopped...

Remember the haircut incident? With the extra hair that was unnecessarily taken from my noggin', I think all my inspiration got butchered, swept up, and tossed in the trash along with it. Eventually, I got back into modeling, in general, but never really returned to self portraits. After working with photographers who I could share my ideas with to shoot as a team, I ended up not even feeling the need anymore.

A few people have asked why I stopped, and have suggested I give it a go again. I just haven't felt the urge.

Until recently...

I've been flooded with ideas. At times it is overwhelming.

But now I feel so rusty...

I can't tell you how may photos I've started or wanted to start lately, only to lose my oomph within minutes.

One day, I felt a slightly stronger urge, and was so close to following through...but was quickly discouraged and started to pack things up. Then the partially opened door caught my eye, triggering some sort of feeling...


I set up the camera, completely unsure about where this was headed... something had me hooked on this spot.

After a few boring attempts,  my interest was waning. Come on, have some patience... think... dig...
Eventually a vague concept hit me.
After a good amount of sprints and squats, I decided I had what I was looking for. Or maybe not. I don't really feel like I know what I'm doing anymore...


Incorporating a workout, at

least I'll get something out

of this... aaaannd REPEAT!

Processing the photo brought on more anxiety. It felt so silly feeling so lost with something that used to be quite natural and fun for me.

I've had the honor of working with some pretty incredible photographers... who shoot way better than I do... who edit way better... who have a well put together style... who are well known... who are real photographers...

But... I have ideas. I don't want to be a professional photographer... I just want to make stuff... and I think I would like to have the option of self portraits again. I've got to do something with this surge of creativity, right?

So, here it is...