A little rusty - self portraits

A long, long time ago, I started playing around with self portraits simply to keep up my photoshop skills after school while I searched for a job in graphic design. I had never liked my photo being taken, but I was the only one around at odd hours of the night/morning. It became an artistic outlet, which later helped out when I stumbled into the local modeling world. And then I just stopped...

Remember the haircut incident? With the extra hair that was unnecessarily taken from my noggin', I think all my inspiration got butchered, swept up, and tossed in the trash along with it. Eventually, I got back into modeling, in general, but never really returned to self portraits. After working with photographers who I could share my ideas with to shoot as a team, I ended up not even feeling the need anymore.

A few people have asked why I stopped, and have suggested I give it a go again. I just haven't felt the urge.

Until recently...

I've been flooded with ideas. At times it is overwhelming.

But now I feel so rusty...

I can't tell you how may photos I've started or wanted to start lately, only to lose my oomph within minutes.

One day, I felt a slightly stronger urge, and was so close to following through...but was quickly discouraged and started to pack things up. Then the partially opened door caught my eye, triggering some sort of feeling...


I set up the camera, completely unsure about where this was headed... something had me hooked on this spot.

After a few boring attempts,  my interest was waning. Come on, have some patience... think... dig...
Eventually a vague concept hit me.
After a good amount of sprints and squats, I decided I had what I was looking for. Or maybe not. I don't really feel like I know what I'm doing anymore...


Incorporating a workout, at

least I'll get something out

of this... aaaannd REPEAT!

Processing the photo brought on more anxiety. It felt so silly feeling so lost with something that used to be quite natural and fun for me.

I've had the honor of working with some pretty incredible photographers... who shoot way better than I do... who edit way better... who have a well put together style... who are well known... who are real photographers...

But... I have ideas. I don't want to be a professional photographer... I just want to make stuff... and I think I would like to have the option of self portraits again. I've got to do something with this surge of creativity, right?

So, here it is...

May Art Giveaway 2015

For this month's giveaway, I accidentally made the art piece...

 

 

I've never been a fan of working with watercolor--the type of work I used to enjoy doing was very detailed and I was never able to learn how to get that kind of detail with a medium like watercolor. Pencil, charcoal, etc were my preference. I also liked to get DARK and that is more difficult with watercolor--keep in mind, a lot of this probably just has to do with the fact that I just never learned much about the medium. I love SEEING amazing watercolor paintings from people who actually know what they are doing...I just hated working in the medium myself.

 

These days, I've been doing a lot more abstract... a lot more experimenting, and sort of just allowing the medium I'm working in to do its thing. And I've definitely embraced my messy side. But still no watercolor.

 

So one day, I was in the mood to make stuff. Watercolor was available. I didn't have anything in mind, I had no expectations that I'd actually make anything good and definitely did not think about the monthly art giveaway, I just wanted to do something for the heck of it. So I started with really loose random swooshes on the page... nothing exciting or promising. But I had no attachment to what I was doing, so I could be free to do whatever I wanted, regardless of how it turned out I couldn't be disappointed. I got into the creative zone, started getting gut feelings with what to do with the piece-though still no expectations/end goals. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was feelin' it and having fun.

 

Eventually I stepped back and slightly out of the "zone" to take a look at what the heck was happening. It actually was looking kind of neat! How?! I don't know if I can figure that part out.

 

So...here it is:

 

So if you like this piece, here is the giveaway info.........

DEADLINE: THIS Sunday, noon (central). Comment on the original video on my facebook or google+ page that you would like to enter.

 

It is not matted/framed, and the usual rules apply (for a quick list refresher, check out January's art giveaway)

 

It may have been a total fluke, I may never be able to do something like this again. Who knows?! But what an experience... to be that free. No excuses, no expectations, just play.

 

 

 



April Art Giveaway 2015

This post pains me...I mean seriously, I smashed my finger with a hammer for this month's project. ;)

I made something new today... I've been sitting on this idea for quite some time, and it actually worked! THIS is a large part of what I had in mind when I first thought of doing these giveaways--I wanted it to be an opportunity to expand and try new things, learn new techniques, reinvent old techniques, etc. Here we go...

I've got two options for you to choose from- a small one, and a bigger one...

They're made from repurposed/scrap materials-copper wire and yarn to be more specific.

The idea behind it: life lessons can be rough... sometimes it feels like we get the crap kicked out of us in life, our hearts take a beating... but we have the opportunity to use that for good-to make ourselves better/stronger people, we have the ability to make something beautiful out of poopy situations...and that's pretty amazing. And we don't have to let other people, experiences, life, the world, beat out all that is kind from us. We can keep a warm soft spot in our hearts, even if it gets worn down or even needs to be rebuilt. This is my visual representation of this...

 

 

You can repurpose/make your own chain by cutting off the access yarn (leaving the knot/bow) or you can wear as is--tying the yarn or adding your own clasps. A variety of options. :)

 

To enter, please go to my www.facebook.com/NFGartist or google.com/+nNFGjolly and comment on the original video with which necklace/pendant you would like to try to win.

 

DEADLINE is Sunday, April 26, at noon (central). After that, I will randomly draw a winner, so keep an eye on facebook/google+ for the winner announcement.

 

Good luck! And thank you for the continued support. :) 

March Art Giveaway 2015

I struggled with this video... but here it is, despite being sloppy and delayed!

For the past few years, I've been doing quite a bit of collaborating with photographer Andrew Kufahl. I met him about 3.5 years ago, towards the end of his 365 project. I was lucky enough to be in the final two shots of that impressive project, and since then, we've been working together pretty consistently. The fun thing about working with Andrew is he is open to me having a good amount of creative input... I used to shoot my own self portraits quite often prior to meeting him, but started throwing my ideas out to him. His style and talent really help bring my ideas to a whole new level.

It is hard to pin point how exactly this particular shot started-who came up with what-because often times, there is a spark of an idea that gets thrown out between us, and we both work to build a final image. This shot was one of our earlier collaborations. I remember it being one of the earliest where I got to see some of Andrew's awesome lighting techniques... he treats lighting as though he's painting. What a cool process to see and actually be a part of! We used a technique that each of us has used in our own work (ghosting), but it was the first time we used this in a piece together... Andrew does as much as possible in camera, including this effect--which I had never seen done before.

The last time he said goodnight, was also his goodbye...

This specific print was used for display, so it does have some stuff on the back. It is mounted on foamcore, and you get to frame however you wish.

To enter: comment on the original video on facebook/google+ that you would like to enter...that easy! The DEADLINE is this Friday, April 3, at noon (central). Afterwards, I will do a random drawing for the winner. Good luck! :)

February Art Giveaway 2015

Boy, life doesn't hesitate to call you out...

Earlier this year... I announced a project...

I honestly didn't know if anyone would even be interested...but January was AWESOME.

Just because you had a poopy year, and it is now a new year, does not mean that things have to improve, that poopy things aren't going to happen. WE define time, but time has no rules. So, long story short, there have been additional poopy events.

Sometimes there is so much happening, you really don't feel like there IS time for anything else but dealing with it. Perhaps it was due to my fantastic chiropractor and massage therapist for allowing me to finally relax for a brief period of time recently, but I remembered how it felt to do the January giveaway... I remembered how excited I was for this project. I generally dislike commitment, but this was different...this was for me, promising to find a way to continue doing what I love, no matter what. I have a lot of things to figure out in the other parts of my life, but I have something I made that I can giveaway, and I have a video camera, and internet access today...which means I can continue this project. So darn it, no excuses! Speaking is not one of my strong points, I'm pretty stuffed up, and there are a million other reasons you may actually find valid for me not feeling like doing this right now... but that's not the point. I'm technically alive...and I have the pieces to make it happen. So here we go...

February... while it is still cold, I've got a pair of fingerless gloves for you! They are knitted with double yarn, which makes them a bit thicker and squishier. I had experimented with this pair, attempting to "draw" with yarn. I chose to do a little blue bird, and intended to add a second blue bird on the cuff of the other glove. If you like what you see, please either go to my facebook or google+ and comment on the video that you want in. The deadline: Wednesday, March 4, at noon (central)... Then watch for a video where I do the drawing live to announce the winner.

 

I know this wasn't the last test...and I know I may want to stop again, or even feel the need to do so in order to deal with other life things. But hopefully I can keep reminding myself of this very important lesson, to keep doing what I love doing.

January Art Giveaway 2015

As announced in my previous post, I've decided to do a monthly art giveaway for 2015! This idea was a bit delays, so January is going to have to share a few days with February.

 

So here we go...The gift: an Echo painting!

 

These paintings are made mostly, if not completely, from repurposed material. The backing allows for complete freedom when deciding which way is up. Everyone sees something different in these, so YOU decide. ;)

 

I've created a video for this giveaway, but will also write it out below for those who would may be unable to watch it in video form... Additional rules not covered in the video will also be included below.

 

 

 

I've selected 3 echoes for participants to choose from.

 

Pick ONE :)

 



 

Entries can be submitted on my facebook artist page or google+  Simply comment on the giveaway video with your choice :) The deadline is Monday, February 2, 2015, at 7pm (central).

 

A few ground rules:

• There may be some shipping restrictions to countries outside of the USA -- if this prevents me from shipping it to you, I will unfortunately have to pick a runner up. 
• You can enter for multiple giveaways, but you can only win ONCE. The exception: if no one enters a giveaway, or if the only people who enter are previous winners, you will then be eligible to win again, so go ahead and put your name in for any of them that you really like!
• If a giveaway has multiple options, you may only choose one. The other options will be for sale and added to the online store ( http://nfg.shophandmade.com/ ). If you would like to purchase any of the other pieces and have them sent with the piece you won, we can make arrangements.
• I've been trying to be more eco-friendly, and would like to encourage winners to consider passing the art on to other art lovers or sending it back if you decide to ever part with the piece.

 Here are your options, one more time...



A

 

 

B

 

C

Winners: I would love if you'd send me a photo of how you end up displaying the pieces or you with the piece or whatever, though it is not a requirement.

 

I'm so excited to begin this project. Thanks for checking it out!

NO EXCUSES! :)

An old facebook banner, a reminder. This was from a beautiful, wonderful day 

during a year with some of the most heartbreaking moments... 

Film photos by Andrew Kufahl

A few years back, I felt very at fairly at peace with my life and where I was at with it. It was not what I thought it would be, it was not ideal, but none of that mattered. I could be who I wanted to be and live how I want to live. Despite having plenty of excuses (and some may actually be valid reasons), I was trying to live without them. Bad things happened, terrible things happened, but wonderful things also happened. I had numerous failures and mistakes, but they never stopped me...I always found my way through, and sometimes I'd find myself in places I'd never imagine before-better than I could have imagined! I realized, as long as you're alive, there are always options. They may be hard to see, they may not even exist yet, but they are there...somewhere...

I craved mountain tops and waves... And somehow found my way there. Despite limitations. 

The next year was more of the same, but then things started to change...

An accomplishment I never thought 

possible, a bucket list item, a gift 

to Grandpa...

       ...in the midst of a crap storm.

I started feeling the pressure of my circumstance. I started seeing my restrictions. I started to not feel FREE anymore. I stopped listening to what I truly wanted and started listening more to outside factors/people. It was a familiar feeling, but one I thought I was able to let go and be free from. Crap. It was back.

I was no longer doing much of what I loved anymore, I felt all my time had to be devoted to putting out fire after fire. Fires I didn’t feel I didn’t even start and I couldn’t understand where they were coming from. It was exhausting. In the rare occasion I was able to do something actually enjoyable, it always felt like a fight, and very rarely was it pretty, and even more rare was me actually “winning” that fight. There was always some form of negative energy that I had to figure out what to do with. I think I learned a lot of valuable lessons, but boy is it exhausting to live that way. I don’t know what the future holds, I know there will be more struggles, but I don’t know if it has to have the same result. I’ve been thinking a lot, trying to figure out why I had a year or two in there where I did feel free and at peace, where I was doing things I loved-no matter what limitations were there. Bad things still happened, but something had been very different...

I’ve been remembering lessons I had once learned that I felt changed my life. And I’m realizing I don’t think I’m living them anymore. I can list off all sorts of reasons as to why this may have happened, but what really matters is that I want to make a change. I want to remember those lessons and get them back in my life. 

During some really difficult times, Andrew Kufahl and

I buckled down on a project we had been talking about

for a while... somehow, we did a crazy project, made 

a book, had a gallery show, the project appeared on 

some of our idols blogs/pages, were able to donate 

some of the proceeds to a cause close to our hearts...
I never imagined any of that happening!

I caught myself saying something the other day that looking back was actually kind of ridiculous. If you haven’t heard, Taylor Swift has been doing some really nice things for her fans lately...a lot of nice things! I’ve found it inspiring and ended up saying to a friend “See, I think that would be one of the coolest parts about being rich/famous...to be able to just give like that!” I remember thinking this quite often throughout my life about other celebrities/rich folks, aka "successful" people. But I got to thinking recently...I give, and I enjoy to give, even though I don’t have the money or some of the other abilities, even though I'm not the standard definition of successful. Why have I set up this limitation or rule now, that I can’t give anything actually worth giving unless I was in a better financial position, or unless I was successful, etc.?! I realized I may be letting my past -of having my kindness be taken advantage of- also make me feel I can’t give. It is time to find that healthy happy medium and to free myself up a bit.  

I really  really REALLY love creating. And this has taken over so many parts of my life in a very good way. EVERYTHING can be seen in an artistic way.  The feeling you get when you create something, purely out of passion, just because, it is like nothing else. Last year, I wasn’t creating nearly as much as I wanted to...my circumstances had gone through some major changes  and I didn’t have the space or supplies or time or whatever else to keep creating like I had been. This had a major effect... and even drained other aspects of my life. So when you're just constantly putting out fires, and don't even have your outlets, and then other good parts of life and parts of yourself that you liked start to get drained, it is tough to find your way out... it is tough not to get down about that... I had forgotten a very important lesson I learned through previous struggles... Even when everything seems to be going wrong, when everything is going against you, you can STILL muster up the energy and creativity to find a way to MAKE something beautiful/good happen. No matter how small. So what I experienced was not just a year of a ton of bad stuff, the problem was that  I stopped feeling I had the power to actually CREATE anything good. Eventually, I picked up knitting again (I can do that just about anywhere and it is affordable), despite my limitations and circumstances. Recently, I found myself in circumstances were I am not able to do much knitting, but I don’t want that to stop me this time. I want to keep this going. I want to keep growing and creating. And I want to share it! So...that brings me to this is idea I had...

So are you ready? :)

I’d like to give away something I’ve created, each month, whether it is a painting, something I've knitted, a whole new creation, a print, and so on...who knows what I'll come up with once I get the ball rolling! I would like a large part of this project to encourage me to experiment, to learn new things, to keep growing, to keep CREATING, but the giveaways may include some things I’ve already done. I know this is still pretty vague, but I don’t want to have it too defined. I want to see where it takes me! And I want to share that. So what you need to know is I will be announcing a giveaway type thing once a month...and if you'd like to have a piece of art from me, you just have to say so once it is announced! Then I'll blindly pick someone, and send them something. I would also love it if winners send me a photo once they get their gift. I love seeing how you display my work and the smiles! :) :) :)

Some of the coolest, most precious moments I've experienced,were what 

they were because of passion, love, creativity. This is my Grandpa and my 

cousin...She and I exchange Christmas gifts, mine was incredibly delayed...

I had knit her an afghan, and ended up enlisting the help of family and 

friends, many of whom learned to knit specifically for this project. The 

project made so many amazing moments happen. 

If I can figure out how to do it, I’d also like to maybe throw in a coupon to my shop on occasion for some of the winners  to use as they wish?!

So... here’s to making changes for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life... to living life without excuses, once again. And to MAKING beautiful things, moments, connections, etc. in life...no matter what poopy things go down. :)

If you are interested in the monthly giveaways, I'll be posting them on my artist page: www.facebook.com/NFGartist  

TIP: If you hover over the “Like” button for the page, you can be sure to get updates by clicking the “Get Notifications” button. That way you don't have to miss them if facebook does not show these posts on your feed! 

Well, it appears January is almost over, so I better get my butt moving.